I can see it now—at the Final Judgment thousands strutting up to me and saying, ‘Master, we preached the Message, we bashed the demons, our super-spiritual projects had everyone talking.’ And do you know what I am going to say? ‘You missed the boat. All you did was use me to make yourselves important. You don’t impress me one bit. You’re out of here.’
— Matthew 7:22-23 MSG
If you happen to be struggling with spending time with Jesus in prayer, may I suggest my four step plan for praying . Like most new Christians, I had a hard time learning how to pray effectively. I struggled to find the appropriate format for my time in prayer. I didn’t set out to develop this plan intentionally, it was serendipity. Nevertheless, it accurately reflects the prayer life I had in my early years as a Christian.
Note: This post is an update from the one written a year ago. It is one of many that need updating in the coming weeks. If you’re curious why, read my posting about Finding My Soul, Again.
My first attempts at prayer were simply reading the Bible out loud. Of course I did not realize I was praying, but have since learned it is one of many forms of prayer. As I got serious about prayer, I started trying other forms of prayer. You can read about some of them on the Focus on the Family’s site. But be sure to come back since I have not shared mine with you.
My Four-Step Prayer Plan
Not having much luck with other plans, I tried to figure out one for myself and finally settled on the one below. I suspect many people use this format as well, I may just be the first to put it into writing.
Here is my version of a four-step plan for prayer.
- I get settled into a comfortable chair with my morning coffee and get ready for prayer.
- Next, I open a Bible to the page that strikes my fancy. sometimes I play God roulette and just let the Bible fall open to a page. Once open, I read a sentence or two. On a good day, a few paragraphs.
- After closing the Bible, I begin my prayers. The initial step is expressing gratitude to God for all His blessings. Next, a few minutes thinking about what I had just read and how it applies to my life. After 2 or 3 minutes of reflection, I move to my prayer list and start discussing my ongoing personal needs.
- Once I reminded God of my needs, I finished my coffee and left for work.
While I was happy with the format and my time with God, I was not getting any answers to my prayers. God answered a few, but most items on the list continued to stare at me day after day.
Questioning the Need for Prayer
Despite my own belief in this approach, as time pasted, I started questioning why even bother? Don’t misunderstand me. I knew I should pray. But why waste my mornings if God was not going to show up for His part.
Then again, perhaps prayer was not one of my “spiritual gifts”. I kept hearing this phrase from Christians I would hang out with. Maybe I was lacking the gift of prayer, much like my inability to draw anything other than a crooked line. As I thought about it, I even questioned the whole need to pray. After all, an omniscient God already knows my needs and what I am going to be praying for. Why waste both of our time?
Even with this new approach to praying, or rather not praying, I continued to get the same answers. Nothing, no answers from God. I also lost my main complaint about the whole prayer endeavor. I could no longer blame Him per say since I was no longer asking per say.
What Prayer Plans Were Others Using?
To add to my frustration, people around me seemed to be hearing from God, and getting answers to their prayers. They talked about how God had told them such and such during their prayer time. Obviously prayer was not one of my spiritual gifts. Nor was my four-part prayer plan working, at least for me anymore. I was getting desperate.
So I turned to my friends and asked them what were they doing when hearing from God. Each one gave the same answer, “nothing“. Well heck, that is exactly what I had been doing for several years now. Why was God answering their nothings and silent on mine? Was I simply bad at doing nothing? Worse yet, like Santa, was I on God’s naughty list?
During this struggle with prayer, I was also coming to terms with my concept of God. If He existed, which I believed regardless of my prayer issues, how did He act and feel? I mean if He had a Linked-In page, what would be on it? After all, the Bible does not exactly fit on a two page resume. Not finding one, I set about creating one for Him, or at least my version of what His profile page would look like. That cheesy attempt to describe God has now become my list of core beliefs about God.
As I looked at that list, the relational aspect of God’s character jumped out at me. God was relational, and He created me in His image. Which means I was created to be relational. My problem was not being relational in my prayer life.
Discovering the Missing Prayer Link
Early in our marriage, my wife and I had problems communicating with each other. Turns out it was not a relationship problem but a time problem. She simply needed time with me. Time to talk and discuss what is happening in our lives. Now each Saturday morning, we talk and pray until she is done with both. I always finish first. For the rest of the time, I am often just sitting and listening. I have also learned to say yes more often than no.
Prayer was never about asking for things I wanted, but rather a time to wait, wait and hear what God needed from me. After all, I accepted Jesus as Lord and Savior. Lord by definition is someone in charge, not someone who serves you. Nor is Jesus a harsh Lord. On the contrary, He calmly and lovingly waited while I figured out who was actually in charge.
I no longer have what people would call a set prayer time or format. I still offer Him my list of wants and prayer needs, but those discussions now include whether or not those things are good for me. More importantly, I stick around to hear what He has to say and what He may have planned for me that day. The day starts with just the two of us talking and maybe a cup of coffee or two.
If I were to revise my Four Step Prayer Plan, the last step would read something like this: Once I am sure God is finished talking, I finish my coffee and go to work.
How does your prayer life look?
Blessings in the name of Jesus Christ,
Rob Nimchuk
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